As an artist and as a professional, I find that the utmost challenge is to stay on course. I’m not referring to an art series or particular subject exploration. I’m talking about staying on course as an independent financially self-supporting creator in art. In terms of numbers, there aren’t many of us. Matter of fact, I only know a handful myself. I’m going to say this, and it may seem completely bizarre but here it goes…IT IS EASIER TO WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Yep, that’s what I found.
Having a job to report to and the assurance that a paycheck will be in your account on a regular basis is an easier way to live, although it comes at a price. The burning, gnawing sensation in the back of the artist’s mind that they should be spending their energy creating and speaking to the world their truth, not laboring away to collect the scraps from someone else’s table.
I worked for other people for decades and learned a lot about myself and others. And I also learned that working for a company or individual provides a stable financial environment. One I could count on. Although I knew something was missing in my life. There was a rock left unturned.
When I took the jump in 2018 and left my job and artist residency at the Norfolk Botanical Garden in Virginia, I traveled west, sold paintings and found part-time jobs to stay afloat. I experienced absolute TERROR. The terror was not that I was going to flop or go bankrupt…the terror was that I was in unfamiliar territory. You see, we are afraid of things we do not know. I wanted predictability just like the goal of today’s academia. This + this = that. I wanted to have a foreseeable outcome. But there was none to be had. It was grey, shaded and cloudy. I was forced to either live in the moment and on the edge or go back to work + hours = payment.
Today I still find myself in the unfamiliar lands of uncertainty and sometimes a wallet occupied only by moths. I also know there is an ebb and a flow in life. There is nothing stationary on this planet. Nothing ever stays the same. We are immersed in a transitory nature…why should my checkbook be any different?
Today, I am staying the course in my creativity and picking up a job here or there to help fill the pockets. I know that there is an ebb and there is a flow. At the end of my life, I would like to look back and see the risk I took and know I did the best to be true to myself. After all, I can’t take any of it with me.